Previously, I had shared why it’s so important for parents of special needs children to grieve their child’s diagnosis. Today, I want to expand on that and discuss the fact that this grieving process will go in cycles.
Why Grieving the Process Is a Cycle
I wish I could tell you that once you’ve grieved the diagnosis all of those heavy feelings would magically disappear and you would go on living life with your new reality without feeling the pain again. The reality is that this isn’t practical.
As we go on living our lives in our new reality there will always be reminders of your child’s diagnosis. These reminders can trigger us into feeling the hurt and loss all over again. As our children grow, so do their peers. We will continually see our child’s peers meeting milestones that our children may never meet. It hurts. It’s hard to see happening around us while feeling like we’re stuck in time.
While the grieving cycle may never truly end, there is hope in the fact that our periods of grief become shorter and less frequent with time.
Don’t Feel Guilty for Grieving
Often times the fact that we need to grieve our child’s diagnosis causes feelings of guilt. It’s easy to think we should be “over it” by now. We’ve grieved once, why are we feeling these feelings again? On top of that if we try to talk about our feelings with others who can’t relate we might get a guilt trip from them (usually unintentionally but it happens).
If you take away anything from this post, I hope it’s this. Don’t feel guilty for finding yourself grieving again. This isn’t a once and done process. As mentioned earlier there will always be things that will trigger the feelings you had when your child was first diagnosed.
Those feelings and emotions are normal. Not only are they normal but they are valid. You must allow yourself to feel and process these feelings. Raising children with special needs is hard, and it’s heavy. You can’t expect yourself to go down this journey and not feel these things.
So feel all the feels, and work through your emotions during the grieving cycle. Once you are able to process and work through your emotions you’ll come through on the other side and find true joy.As our children grow, so do their peers. We will continually see our child's peers meeting #milestones that our children may never meet. #specialneedskids #specialneedsmom #specialneedsparenting #cerebralpalsy #autism Click To Tweet
Enjoy Your Beautiful Children
Most importantly, on your journey of raising your children enjoy them. They are amazing. No matter where you are currently on the grieving cycle we all love our children. Remember to enjoy them. Find activities you can do as a family together and enjoy them to the fullest. We are so blessed to be raising these extraordinary children.
If you are having a hard time working through your feelings of loss that come with a special needs diagnosis or are struggling with the grieving process, do not be afraid to seek professional help.