Dear Special Needs Mom, {Encouragement From Everyone Else}

Every special needs parent can use more encouragement in their life. Any special needs parent will tell you that we love our children more than anything. Everything we do is out of love. Every sacrifice, therapy appointment, IEP meeting, Dr. appointment, surgery, and trip to the pharmacy is done to help give our children the best life possible. We work tirelessly day in and day out providing for, caring, and advocating for our children because of our love for them.

All this being said, we often feel alone and isolated.  It can be difficult for us to relate to other moms around us. We carefully choose which activities we can and cannot participate in. Often, we feel forgotten by the rest of the world.

What Does Everyone Else Think When They See Us?

In spite of these feelings of isolation, I knew that all the moms of “normal” children were watching us. I figured they must be picking up something by observing our lifestyle. I hoped we were inspiring them, or that they would have some encouraging words for us.

So, this past week I asked my readers, family, and friends what it is they do notice when they watch special needs parents. What do they see? Have we inspired them in anyway? Did they have anything they wanted to say that would be encouraging to us?

In their responses I found two common threads. First, they are in awe of everything we do. Second, they have questions but might be hesitant to ask.

Dear Special Needs Mom – Thoughts of Encouragement

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”I admire that you are working hard to provide for, care for, and advocate for the needs of your child. I recognize that all children, all people, are unique and your child is a blessing to you and others. ” – Renee B.[/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”I see you face challenge after challenge fighting for your children to have good lives. I see you tired but never quitting. Your love and determination inspires me” -Katy S. [/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”As Christians we are called to die to ourselves and give all to Christ. I fail at this far more often than I succeed. When I see the level of sacrifice you make for your family I am truly humbled. I have few earthly examples of true sacrifice – and you are one of them. You are an amazing example and have inspired me to more prayerfully consider God’s call on my life.” -Alicia D. [/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”I have two friends who have diabetic children. I’m always so impressed at their diligence. I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot if my kids are fed for the day, but I’m not up in the middle of the night checking blood sugars. I also don’t have a constant fear of my child becoming desperately ill at any moment. The stress on these mommas daily is more that I can imagine. They are warriors fighting an invisible battle.” -Dachelle M. [/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”‘So do not fear for I am with you.; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Is 41:10’ As I watch you over the last few years raising grasshopper and ladybug I have seen your Trust and Faith in the Lord grow so much. This has reminded me on many occasions to Trust in the Lord and seek His help. We can’t do it on our own strength.” -Carol H. [/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”I love to celebrate progress with you, so please share with me and don’t ever apologize for it. I love your child because I love you.” – Melanie W[/info_box]

Dear Special Needs Mom – I want to know more and help

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”I want you to know that there are people who would help if only you’d share how and when it is best to do so. I do pray for you and others like you who love your uniquely beautiful children.” -Renee B. [/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”When I say “I don’t know how you do it…” does that make you feel like a hero or like crap?” – Jimmie L.[/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”I want to know how I can help. I want to be educated about special needs.” – Melanie W. [/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”I’m amazed at all that you can accomplish in a day. I also see that some days you need an extra bit of help but aren’t sure how to ask for it, or even if you should. I’d like to offer help, but am unsure of how you would receive the offer, but hope that you would be understanding that my goal is only one of kindness.” -Renee B.[/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”I admire you… Especially the ones who have chosen that life through adoption. But, it’s hard for me to know the best thing to say or how to be supportive and encouraging.” -Michelle C. [/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”Does it make you feel bad when I brag on my kid? Like I’m pointing out things your kid can’t do? How do I point out positive things about your kid without seeming condescending?” -Jimmie L.[/info_box]

[info_box type=”pale_box”]”I want to know about the resources you’ve found that help. I want to know what advice you have for other SN moms.” – Melanie W[/info_box]

You’re Not Invisible

I hope you found some encouragement in what others have had to say. When you’re feeling like no one notices, or you’ve been forgotten remember the words you read here today. Even when we feel like no one notices, the truth is we are inspiring others. We are bringing awareness to the special needs community.

I also found encouragement in the responses of individuals wanting to help, but unsure how to ask. I’ve found this to be true in our own life too. Don’t be afraid to ask for help friends. It takes a village to raise a special needs child. One thing I’ve learned through this post is that people really are willing to help, they’re just unsure how to offer that help.

I sincerely hope you’ve found encouragement in these comments from individuals outside our special needs life.