“I could never do what you do”  This is something I hear on often in regards to parenting a special needs child.  Quite frankly, the phrase bothers me for a couple reasons.  This phrase is another thing I could easily add to my post 5 Things Not to Say to a Special Needs Mom.

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We Didn’t Choose To Be Special Needs Parents

The first reason this phrase bothers me is that it makes it sound like we chose to raise a child with special needs.  It’s true that some individuals out there specifically choose children with high medical needs through adoption.  We were not one of those people however.  Saying “I could never do what you do” makes us out to be someone we’re not.  We shouldn’t be put on a pedestal for simply being special needs parents.
Yes, it’s true Ladybug is adopted; however, we didn’t know of her diagnosis at the time of the placement.  We didn’t seek out a special needs child.  In fact, our adoption application specifically stated that we would not be willing to be placed with a child who has a high special needs ranking.  As much as I hate to admit this, had we known she had cerebral palsy we wouldn’t have brought her home.  Ladybug’s placement to our family as completely a God thing.
 “God Places the lonely in families” Psalms 68:6

If God Called You To This, You Could Do It!

The truth is, if you HAD to do what we do, you would.  We’ve all heard the phrase God does not call the equipped, he equips the called.  I used to think there is no way I could raise a special needs child.  I am so thankful that God does not call us to something and then leave us hanging to figure out how to do this!  If that were the case our lives would be a mess.  All throughout the Bible, when God called someone to do something amazing He provided a way to get it done.  He didn’t leave them alone to figure it out. God was there with them the whole time, just like He is here with me through our journey.

“The Lord gives his people strength.  The Lord blesses them with peace.” Psalms 29:11

If your child had special needs, God would give you the ability, strength, and resources to do what we do.  So it isn’t that you can’t do what we do, it’s just you don’t need to do what we do.

When you say “I could never do what you do” it puts us on a pedestal we don’t deserve.  We are simply living out God’s call on our lives and He deserves all the credit.